TSGS 016: LaSara Firefox , "Sex-Positive and Body-Positive Parenting"
In this interview you will learn the basics of sex and body-positive parenting and get some specific recommendations on how all of us can unhook from the negative cultural influences around these issues. Beth and Lasara delve into the issues of boundaries, what they are, and how they are useful in relationships and parenting: “As a parent, setting my own boundaries allows my children to have their own boundaries. It gives them a language around having them, and it models positive boundary awareness and self-care”. Also hear from Lasara about the age-old question, ‘When is the right time to talk about sex?’. Lasara gives an incredible answer, both honest and sensible, but also takes into account what the parent is able to consciously give in that moment. This will support all parents in the journey of supporting children to be healthy and empowered, while also taking care of themselves. Finally, body image is faced in this fantastic interview. Lasara Firefox: “I really think that nakedness is a huge component of body positivity. If we don’t see how bodies age, it is much more challenging for us to have a positive relationship with our bodies as they change”. Get insight into a new system of relating and parenting, and let go of our old cultural adages such as ‘Bonding through self-deprecation’ and ‘focusing on what is wrong’. This interview will get you on your way to a new way engaging and parenting.
Source: personallifemedia.com
TSGS 027: Successfully Attracting and Connecting with Women with Carlos Xuma
"I do believe that everything really does come back to that all purpose self-esteem nugget" –Carlos Xuma, relationship and attraction advisor In this podcast with Carlos Zuma, we discover what it takes for men to successfully attract and connect with women. Carlos discusses common pitfalls, as well as some common myths and stereotypes about what women want. He says that by embracing their authentic selves and becoming more confident, men are better at attracting and connecting with the women they want. Carlos shares his own experience of letting go of insecurities and finding the confidence necessary to successfully connect with the opposite sex.
Source: personallifemedia.com
Can Your Personality Change?
By Colette Bouchez
Part 1: Is Change Possible? | Part 2: Can You Increase Your Brain Power? | Part 3: Personality traits That Affect Health
Cast in stone. Dyed in the wool. A leopard can't change his spots. All phrases that, at one time or another, have been used to express the idea that when it comes to personality, we are who we are and nothing can change.
And yet, it's also not so usual to hear — or speak — phrases like: "This book changed my life," "You're not the same person you were when I married you," or "I didn't know any better when I was your age, but I'm different now."
So, is it possible to change our personality — and if so, to what degree? The answer, it seems, has some surprising twists and turns.
"Classic textbooks describe personality as unique and relatively enduring internal and external aspects of a person's character that influence behavior in certain situations — suggesting that yes, there are genetic traits that influence who we are, or at least lay down the basic blueprint for how we will act in any given situation in life," says Long Island, N.Y., psychologist Abby Aronowitz, PhD. Aronowitz is director of SelfHelpDirectives.com.
Indeed, says Aronowitz, one only has to look at a neonatal nursery to realize that, right from birth, we are who we are.
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"If you look at a baby, they have had very little influence in their life. And yet some are easily startled, some are not; some can be easily satisfied, others seem inconsolable. There are character traits already starting to emerge right from day one," Aronowitz tells WebMD.
Psychiatrist Charles Goodstein, MD, agrees: "If you observe newborns in a nursery, right from the get-go you can see differences in how they react, so you could say those traits represent the nuclei that develop into a personality," he tells WebMD.
Nurture vs. Nature
While this theory once comprised the entire concept of personality, more and more researchers are coming to see that while much of who we are is the result of genetic blueprint, not everything about us is written in indelible ink. Indeed, just how those personality traits unfold is largely the result of our life experiences, particularly during the early years of childhood.
"When we talk about personality today, we talk about the consequences of the interplay between those predispositions and genetic qualities unique to each of us, and our life experiences — the environmental factors and the relationships, especially with our parents, that play out over time and influence just how our personality evolves," says Goodstein, a professor of psychiatry at NYU Medical Center in New York City.
Indeed, experts say that sometimes, even severe personality disorders can be tempered significantly when the environmental conditions are just right.
"A schizophrenic, for example, may never develop full-blown symptoms if they live a relatively stress-free life," says Aronowitz.
So while change is clearly possible when our personality is molding, does it hold the same potential when we become an adult? Some believe it does.
In one study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a group of Stanford University researchers found that certain aspects of our personality do change — gradually but consistently — as the circumstances in our lives change. What's more, over time many of our less desirable traits seem to fade quite naturally, with more pleasing and social parts of our personality coming forward.
Making Change Possible
How does it happen? Aronowitz believes each personality type holds the potential for a wide range of behaviors. While our innate core traits may not be able to change, over time she says the behaviors that stem from those traits can and often are influenced by many other factors in our lives.
"There are many levels within each personality structure and the level at which your personality is performing at any given time can be sensitive to what is going on around you," says Aronowitz.
Because of that, she says, it's also possible to change our personality by willfully changing some of those circumstances believed to be affecting us.
"Situations very much influence what aspects of our personality come forward, so in this respect, sometimes changing jobs, social situations, even altering family dynamics can effect a change in our personality — mostly by allowing certain parts of our innate core that may have been hidden, to come forward and flourish," says Aronowitz.
The classic example of this can be seen in the 1940s film Now Voyager. Here we watch the transformation of the shy, overly dependent, anxiety-ridden Bette Davis into a self-reliant, confidant social butterfly when she crawls out from under the crushing wing of a dominating mother.
For psychologist Scott Wetzler, PhD, the key to "trading up" on personality traits lies not so much in changing your circumstances as in learning to identify the parts of yourself that you don't like — and then compensating for those character traits.
"By indulging in or avoiding certain behaviors you can keep certain innate personality reflexes from dominating your life. You can compensate for personality traits you don't like so that other parts of yourself you do like can take center stage in your life," says Wetzler, the chief psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center in Bronx, N.Y.
For example, says Wetzler, a shy person can learn the social skills necessary to do things their shyness would otherwise prevent. Likewise, a quick-tempered individual may learn anger management skills that make it easier to move ahead in his or her professional life.
While none of this will change your basic personality traits, says Wetzler, it can help keep certain of those traits from becoming dominant. So, in this sense, your personality does seem to change.
Goodstein agrees: "Despite the fact that we are born with a certain set of predispositions that lead us in specific directions, we also have the capacity for certain amounts of change throughout our lives."
Making Change Happen
For some, a change in personality can occur abruptly, often the result of a tumultuous event in their lives. Indeed, how we cope with major upsets is part of our personality, and sometimes being forced to do so can lead to the discovery of a new and entirely different side of ourselves.
For most folks, however, change is a lot slower and more subtle — and the process is just a little bit different for everyone. However, the one thing that experts say we must all share before change can begin: the willingness to make it happen. As elementary as this sounds, Goodstein tells us that many folks who say they want change, really don't!
"When you have been a certain way for most of your life, relinquishing certain aspects of your personality can be a very traumatic experience, and there is often great resistance to do that," says Goodstein. This, he says, can sometimes be the case when others in our lives are prompting the change.
But if, in fact, you are ready for change, experts say the best place to start is with small adjustments in your thinking and your behavior.
Says Wetzler: "It's a little bit like sailing a boat. You can't expect to make radical changes in the steering, but over time, one or two degrees of change can put you on an entirely different course."
While many folks find they can accomplish at least some of this on their own, if the seas get rough, or especially if you're not quite sure just how to set sail, experts say don't be afraid to look to professional help to take you through the process.
"Many of the determinants and manifestations of personality are of an unconscious nature, so you may not even know what it is about yourself that needs to be changed. You may know you are unhappy but you may not really know why," says Goodstein.
While sometimes traditional psychoanalysis is necessary to produce a major change, experts say that often any form of therapy that helps focus attention on thoughts and behaviors can help.
Next week: As we continue to examine the concept of change, we turn our attention to intelligence. Can cracking the books and concentrating harder make you smarter — or just more tired? And are you bound by that third-grade IQ test — or can you actually get brighter as you age? The answers might surprise you!
Published June 6, 2005.
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SOURCES: Abby Aronowitz, PhD, director, SelfHelpDirectives.com, Long Island, N.Y. Charles Goodstein, MD, professor, NYU School of Medicine; former president of the Psychoanalytic Association of New York. Scott Wetzler, PhD, vice chairman, chief of psychology, Montefiore Medical Center, Bronx, New York. Journal of Personal and Social Psychology, May 2003.
Source: relationships.blog-city.com
TSGS 004: Charles Moser, MD, PhD: A Sexual Medical Expert on Unusual Sexual Interests
In this program, Dr Moser talks to us about the nature and range of sadomasochism (SM). He discusses his background (a self-described horny teenager who went to the library a lot) and how he came to view sexuality from a scientific perspective. From there, he branches out and looks at how our sex-negative society has led to people internalize their feelings and desires the negative repercussions of that. He also discusses the types of medical questions that people bring to him (i.e. I want to do X, how do I do that safely?) According to him, there is nothing that hasn’t been eroticized. He looks at people’s sexual behaviors and the medical and emotional issues that arise from a scientific perspective. He approaches his patients from a non-judgemental point of view and acknowledges that good SM is whatever really gets people off and that it is different for each person. While keeping safety in mind, he says that a key way for people to learn about what they want in their sexual lives is through talking and experimenting. Sex is fun, enjoy it.
Source: personallifemedia.com
Men hide their feelings
Men are socialized not to say a word about the suffering they go through on a daily basis, since any mention of it around women will kick start their mother mannerisms. This is bad because she's unconciously marked you as a child and this is why this reaction takes place, to "take care" of the child.
Do you know that most rapes in the U.S. are committed by men against other men?
Do you know more teenage girls contemplate suicide more than teenage boys, though more than 2x teenage boys commit suicide?
Do you know women are just as likely to attack a man as a man would attack a woman?
Do you know the root of the word hero, comes from a word meaning slave? Do you know the gender of most heroes you see on TV? Do you that it's the same gender that in over 90% of court cases loses custody rights to their children?
The media is MIRED in sexist trash and inaccurate or intentionally lopsided reporting, so this isn't surprising at all. I hope this encourages you guys and gals out there to talk to your brothers, cousins, husbands and so on since you'll find that they're human and they hurt just like women (though they probably don't vocalize their pain as much).
Rex
Source: relationships.blog-city.com
TSGS 020: Knottyboys - "Pretty Tied Up" - Episode 2 of 2
Join host Beth Crittenden for Part II of the Two Knotty Boys interview as they discuss the all-too-often misunderstood world of bondage. These guys are a low-key and approachable duo that teach people how to bring bondage into their life in a way that makes it available and less threatening.
Source: personallifemedia.com
TSGS 047: The Hakomi Method of Awakening with Marlies Cocheret De La Moriniere
Join OneTaste's Harmony Niles in this in-depth interview with Marlies Cocheret De La Moriniere, an expert in the revolutionary Hakomi method of therapy. Hakomi therapy works with the mind, body, and spirit to help people awaken and fully live in truth. In this interview, Marlies shares with us some of the methodology and philosophy of Hakomi therapy. We also get an intimate look at her personal journey of self discovery and awakening. Explore some of the great questions of our time with this amazing teacher and perhaps learn something about yourself in the process.
Source: personallifemedia.com
porn film
N.C. 12 northbound on Pea Island in North Carolina, was bumper to bumper on Wednesday, September 1, 2010, as a mandatory evacuation order was issued in the advance of Hurricane Earl. Hundreds of visitors cut their vacations short as the storm churned towards the Outer Banks. (Chuck Liddy/Raleigh News & Observer/MCT via Getty Images)
Steve Jobs, chief executive officer of Apple Inc., speaks about the new Apple iTunes software logo during a product unveiling event in San Francisco, California, U.S., on Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2010. Apple, building on its dominance in the music industry, introduced new iPods, added a social networking feature to its iTunes software, and unveiled a new Apple TV set-top box that offers television and movie rentals. Photographer: David Paul Morris/Bloomberg via Getty Images
The new Apple Inc. iPod Nano is displayed during an Apple product unveiling event in San Francisco, California, U.S., on Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2010. Apple, building on its dominance in the music industry, introduced new iPods, added a social networking feature to its iTunes software, and unveiled a new Apple TV set-top box that offers television and movie rentals. Photographer: David Paul Morris/Bloomberg via Getty Images
